Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Depression and Meditation

I have the photos taken for a series of weaving-related blog entries, but it'll be a few days before I can allocate the time to write and post them.

I haven't written for a couple weeks because I've been frantically weaving to catch up and recover from a calculation error. I thought I had become fast enough that I could work short days and still fulfill my production commitment, so I did that for a while. Well, a double check of the numbers showed me that this isn't the case. Sure, I'm pretty fast, but the monetary results aren't as high as I had thought. Now I have to make up for lost time and then keep caught up.

This is a hard time of year for me anyhow. The cold and fog tell my body it's time to hibernate. The days are getting noticably shorter.

It's no secret that I deal with depression. Lots of people do. For years I took psychiatric medications. I have nothing against them, but found them to be problematic for the long term. The effects wear off over time so they continually need to be adjusted and monitored. Every time I start a new one, there are at least a few weeks of watching for results and side effects. "Frank phychotic manifestation"? None for me, thanks. I don't need a mood problem turning into a personality problem.

Apart from light, the other biggest depression trigger for me is financial stress. By heaping money stress on top of the grey weather, I created the perfect incubation conditions for severe depression.

But today, I feel like I'm out of the woods. I've been waking up earlier and earlier so that I can enjoy my morning meditation. I brew a pot of oolong tea and head up to Dolores Park. I get to wake up super slowly, allowing my eyes plenty of time to take in the bright sky and remember that daytime means being awake.

I've stopped drinking coffee. Sure, it gives me energy, but it also makes me feel crazy and frantic. The addiction crept up on me again: a cup a day had turned into a pot a day with cream. Expensive, and not a good long term wellness strategy.

And here's the funny thing... My phone, a two-year old first generation iPhone, is integral to the whole wellness experience. I use a series of apps every morning as part of my meditation:

- Daylite: this business and task management app helps me keep track of all my projects. I always know where I stand, what actions are next, and what tasks need to be done. I don't always get them done, but at least I know.

- Habit Factor: this app is based on a simple idea - bad habits are broken by replacing them with good habits. I have set up goals and daily habits that will assist me in reaching them.

- Live Happy: this app helps break the cycle of depression by making happiness and the habits that encourage it part of daily life. It actually spurs me to action, keeping in touch with friends, setting positive goals, savoring memories of happy times, etc. It's based on a book called "The How of Happiness." Of course, I'll be reading that book when I have spare cash to buy it.

And these strategies seem to be working. Healthy food, bright light, fresh air, positive thinking, and exercise. Weaving full-width on the 60" AVL is kind of like walking on a treadmill for 6-8 hours a day.

3 comments:

Peg in South Carolina said...

Blossom, I think you've found the secret. Exercise, proper food, bright light, fresh air, they all work for me. I think we are all susceptible to depression, but even more so if we don't get these things in our lives on a regular basis. The trouble with depression, of course, is that you don't want to do these things, the very things you should do. Glad you have succeeded.

Todd H. Charles said...

Blossom,

you don't have to buy that book you want to read--you can get it from the SF public library. They also have it in audio format, so you could listen to it as part of your meditation.

Unknown said...

Thanks, Todd! That's a great idea. I usually just use the library for old books. I forget that they have new ones, too!